Frugal? Not really

I try to do my best when shopping. I rarely pay full price for anything. If I do, or it is an item /brand that doesn't go on sale, I ponder the decision and wonder do I need it or want it. I have a difficult time deciding on that. It is a character flaw. "Hi, my name is Molly and I spend money" Now that we've got that out of the way. It's school time. My favorite time of the year, Christmas in July anyone? It's not that the kid(now kids) are going to school and I will "have more time to clean" ie: play and grocery shop with a little laundry and nap time thrown in. That's great but to me, a side bonus. I get to shop for "school stuff". It ranges from clothes and shoes to organizer stuff for around the house. It is still ridiculously HOT outside (No, idea why they start school at the beginning of AUGUST in AZ) so I don't get to pack up any summer clothes or anything crazy like that but, I do get to get rid of stuff they have grown out of and they actually have to check their shoes....(we live in crocs & flip-flops when not barefoot). Mary is starting Kindergarten this year. Her school requires uniforms. YES! Score for limiting possible morning meltdowns! NO! I have to shop for the bottoms (tops are bought through the school) which, in all honesty, makes clothes shopping for girls much easier. Shorts, check, skorts check....done!!

I am however scared of the budgeting. Or really, my lack of. I live paycheck to paycheck, yup I said it. I am working on that (sort of) but really, I am truly thankful that my wonderfully non-mathematically challenged, no-mental calculating Husband takes care of the big stuff. Like car payments, mortgages, utilities, Large household purchases and the like. It's not that I forget to make payments or am late (though it has happened *gasp*), it's just well I do the buying. There would be no food, clothes, personal hygiene items etc in the house. (We do have a large TV, home server & nice printer though) What I am saying is that the basics of Home Management are left to me. I don't mind it, really I don't. really, I don't mind! I just wish I didn't have to "budget". Me, and my measly paycheck, are responsible for my irresponsibility. (namely my credit cards) I am trying to mend my ways. I pretty much spend only cash (or debit card for my plastic withdrawals) however, I have to tame my spending ways. I have to realize that a good deal might just be to walk away. Or to not go into the store in the first place. (FYI, just typing that gives me anxiety) Some things are inevitable, like, Back-to-school, I am trying my best to get it done and with minimal expenditures. I always (OK, 99% of the time) get a good deal or a sale. It doesn't always justify the spending but in my head, well, it's for the kids. (that's usually my justification).